Whenever I’m away from home I designate Zack (14) as Man of the House, and charge him with being attentive, helpful, and extra responsive to things that need to be done.
I was away recently for our church guys retreat, and checked in with him by phone:
Hey, Bud – how’s the Man of the House?
Have you performed any special duties or feats?
Not really. I caught a couple of burglars.
Oh, no! Were they in the house?
How did they get in?
Through the dog’s pet door.*
* We don’t have a pet door or a dog, but the kids recently talked about a combination Bulldog and Shitsu. Yes, Zack came up with a perfect name.
How old were they?
Man – we’ve got to make that thing smaller or board it up altogether. Did the police come?
So what happened?
I hit them with my Louisville Slugger and released them back into the wild.
Yeah. Catch and release.