Category Archives: funny stuff

Perspective…

Today I learned more than I wanted to know about taxi fares in Chicago:

chicago taxi fares

Sometimes gratitude and perspective come from the most unexpected places.

Advertisements

Stupid parents

I have two teenage kids, so couldn’t stop laughing when I saw this on someone’s wall earlier this year:

Tired of being hassled by stupid parents?
Move out, get a job, and start paying all of your own expenses.
And do it now, while you still know everything!

That shoe doesn’t fit all of the time, but it fits like a glove some of the time!

From the son of a co-worker..

Henri 2, Paw de Deux

Kudos – and many thanks – to Will Braden for this hilarious view of the trials of being a cat.

Old age or cabin fever?

You tell me:

  • Susan just finished scrubbing out the dishwasher when she spied an old container of Easy-Off oven cleaner under the kitchen sink. Going from one task right to the next, she began applying the cleaner to our oven, unleashing a powerful wave of chemical odor through the house. It was just above freezing outside, but we cranked the windows open and soon stopped coughing. By the way, our oven is self-cleaning.
  • The residue of Seattle’s infamous ‘Snowmageddon’ was quickly washing away in the rain, but I found myself shoveling slush in the street to create direct channels for water to reach storm drains. Didn’t occur to me until later that water finds its way to those drains every time it rains – without my help.
  • I got up on our almost-flat roof yesterday to make sure that snow wasn’t obstructing the downspouts. Strong winds blew in that night, and a tremendous crash about 3:00 AM reminded our household and neighbors that I’d forgotten to take down the extension ladder I’d used to climb onto the roof.

Buying a car

O faithful readers, please forgive my long absence.  In starting a new business I have neglected the exercise of writing for enjoyment.  Hope to get back into the habit, and appreciate your patience while I was otherwise occupied.

The tragic death of our 1991 Toyota Previa in January made us a one-car family of four.  Using more public transportation is generally a good thing, as is better planning of errands and shopping trips.  With working adults and two kids in high school, however, we would have been stuck but for family, friends, and neighbors who loaned us vehicles when we needed one.  (We especially appreciated the use of Susan’s parents’ car while they were out of town.)  It takes a village, don’t you know.

A few cars on Craigslist – including the one we bought – sounded promising.  Along the way we looked at one that provided a caveat emptor lesson, and a good little story…

It was dark and pouring rain when Susan and I pulled alongside a car waiting in the grocery store parking lot where we’d arranged to meet.  After identifying ourselves to the guy inside, the car door opened and a pair of white leather shoes with buckles emerged.  I knew immediately we weren’t going to buy that car.

We’re not usually willing to judge on the basis of appearances, but there’s something to be said for first impressions.  A shirt unbuttoned halfway down the guy’s chest was strike two for us.  We did the obligatory walk around the car, and Susan spotted and asked about the dealer plates (we’d only looked at ads for private sales).  “Oh, I guess I should have mentioned that I’m an agent for a dealer.”  Yes, you should’ve.

I drove the car and Susan checked things out in the back seat.  “What do you know about the owners?” she inquired.  “They live in Tacoma, and they’re real nice people.”  Okey dokey.  The seller had told me in a text message the car got 27 mpg; when I asked him about gas mileage during the test drive, he said it all depends on how you drive.

Susan continued her sleuthing in the back seat.  “Why is this carpet wet?”  “Oh – some friends were sitting back there, and their feet were probably wet from the rain.”  Even halfway up the front of the seat?

The car was a nice ride – very smooth.  But certain kinds of ‘smooth’ feel like we’re being taken for a ride, and this was one of those.  “We can head back to the grocery store,” I told the seller.  “I think we have all the information we need.”  And thanks for the ride.

“Your eyes are like doves…”

Ever wonder about the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament?  When the male lover describes the woman who is the object of his desire, he uses images that leave the modern reader with a few questions.

Take a look at one contemporary artist’s attempt to render an image of this ancient beauty…

What if Jesus had been born today?