Tag Archives: funny stuff

From the son of a co-worker..

Henri 2, Paw de Deux

Kudos – and many thanks – to Will Braden for this hilarious view of the trials of being a cat.

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Can we get takeout?

Even though we started the practice about two years ago, it often seems to come as a surprise to Zack that Monday night is his turn to fix dinner.  I suppose it’s progress, then, that he was thinking about dinner while in the chair at his orthodontist appointment on Monday afternoon.  He began this text message exchange while I was in the waiting room:

Can we please get takeout from some place?  Pleeeeaaassseeee?

You paying?

Of course not.  My money tree is but a sapling.  And I have made dinner every time I was home for the past forever.

I was glad to realize that some of the conversations about the money tree are taking root.  Meanwhile, we had some good leftovers in the fridge, so Zack’s workload as chef-du-jour was minimal, and he liked what we had enough to go back for seconds and thirds.

Wild Child Mystery Detective Agency

Unlike most families we know, we sometimes lose stuff.  It happens often enough that even when they were small, Lauren and Zack recognized a business opportunity when they saw one.  Instead of sharing the frustration of their parents when things were “lost,” they decided to offer solutions and make a little money in the process.  They formed the Wild Child Mystery Detective Agency.

Lauren and Zack got business cards and set up files.  I installed carpet, lights, and an electrical outlet in their office (the storage space under the stairs) so they had a suitable work environment.  They brought in office equipment including walkie-talkies, several old cell phones, an electric typewriter, flashlights, and some Fisher Price audio devices.

The office also had an Internet appliance called “Audrey” which could access the Web, send and receive e-mail, play audio and video files, and synchronize with two Palm OS-based devices.  I think Lauren and Zack most appreciated the little giggle Audrey played while booting up.

NOTE:  “Audrey” was ahead of her time when she appeared in October 2000.  Our home network was behind the times at the time, and we could only utilize a couple of the appliance’s functions.  Audrey was discontinued on June 1, 2001, a casualty of the dot com bust, and 3Com’s remaining hardware was liquidated and embraced by the hardware hacker community.

Here are notes from a couple of cases in the detective agency’s files:

“As we were settling into a hotel in LA, we missed a container of important medications.  I was ready to hit the road back to our previous night’s lodgings when the Wild Child Agency contacted us and offered their detective services.  Unlikely they’ll find anything for which Susan and I have repeatedly scoured our bags and the room… What?  You just found the missing meds?  I don’t have to drive all the way across LA after all??  That was one of the best $5 I ever spent.”

“I had looked high and low for my wallet.  The thing was huge – more like a small purse – and should have been easy to find.  It had my whole life in it:  credit cards, checkbook, drivers license, receipts, insurance info, even one of my favorite pens.  Nowhere to be found.  Before canceling the credit cards, I decided to give Wild Child a call.  In less than ten minutes they came up with the missing wallet.  Do I love these guys?  You bet I do!”

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Wild Child never obtained a dominant position in the marketplace.  It provided a comfortable living for its owners, but they now have broader interests and more diversified portfolios.  However, the company still hears from a couple of loyal clients who call when they need help finding misplaced items.

Caring for your introvert

For those of us who are married to or otherwise closely associated with an introvert, here’s a good article from the March 2003 issue of The Atlantic.  I laughed out loud.

Close to home

Our friend Andrea sent this along…
from The New Yorker, Feb 23, 2009

from The New Yorker, Feb 23, 2009

Behold, my son the foodie

The kids’ youth group is doing a 30-hour ‘famine’ this weekend as an opportunity to experience a little bit of what it’s like to go without food, and to raise money to help feed some hungry kids.  Both Lauren and Zack have been very interested in being a part of this event.  When Zack was hit by the flu that ravaged our household this week, his first response was disappointment that he might have to miss ‘the fast.’  I love that in a 13 year-old.

* * * * * * * * * *

While he was sick (and I was recuperating), Zack spent a fair amount of the day tucked into bed upstairs and I was working on stuff downstairs.  We were keeping in touch via text messaging.  Here’s one of the threads:

Z:  Hot Cheetos sound good to you right now?

(I went up to his room and he asked if I would make him a grilled cheese sandwich.  I said I would.)

Z:  Thanketh thou.

Me:  Thou art welcome!

Me:  Behold, I perceive that thy health improveth somewhat.  But be not deceived into thinking that thou art well enough to attend The Fast, even though thy heart yearns mightily to do so.  Thy grilled cheese sandwich shall be with thee presently.

Z:  Thanketh thou…  I do not feel well enough to attend the fast.

Me:  Verily, thou hast spoken wisely, my son.

Z:  I accept thy praise, father.

Z:  When is Easter?

Me:  April 12.

Z:  OK – so like in 2 weeks?

Z:  Honey-glazed prawns.  Hong Kong crispy noodles and roasted duck from Lee’s Asian Restaurant.  My friend recommended them to me.

Me:  Mr Chow Hound!

Z:  I always end  up talking about food… it’s funny.

Z:  They also recommended that place Cactus on Alki.

Z:  Excellent sandwich!

Me:  OK Bubba – I have to get some work done.  You are too much!


Don’t do it

Hey men, check out these musically-enhanced tips and avoid some common pitfalls in marriage.  (Thanks, Steve!)